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This was last weekend’s program’s REAL INFIELD FOOTAGE. Guys were buzzing at the end as you can see in the video. I just wanted to give you an “insider tip” on kiss closes (You will see in field footage of how it is done at club level ?) and how physical game can help you succeed with women. Sometimes all it takes is a minor tweak in your game and you are good to go. In the video you will see me dealing with these corrections live in field sometimes in a funny way.

Just want to give my props for the camera work primarily to Andy AKA “Billy The kid” for “getting the shot and burning his hands with the camera” and then, extend it to all my support London Crew, Goran~ “The Gore (video blur guy in Chief)”, Matt “Money in the bank”, Pauly “The delivery man”, Pringles “The young’un”(19 year old), and Smirnoff “ The lady’s man”. There is a lot of thankless work that goes behind the scenes into making a 5 minute youtube clip. Thanks.

Enjoy:


Living in depravation

Not giving yourself what you want has several implications in the dating realm. One of them as I have explained you won’t ask a girl out for the fear of being rejected. You are afraid to open yourself up for vulnerability. She might reject you and rejection is painful. As a result you not only don’t ask for what you want from a girl but you also you don’t even approach her. What’s the point if you are not going to ask for what you want?

The substitutes

Living in depravation (or scarcity) teaches you that misery is ok. You can “tough it up” and keep a stiff upper lip. Not having choice in your sexual life has terrible consequences. For one, since you don’t have a sex partner or won’t ask for one, you end up taking care of your sexual needs with “substitutes” like porn, prostitutes, or masturbation. However, all these substitutes failed to have a long term effect and rarely fulfill you. They are just quick fixes that won’t last. You don’t feel well. For many guys it feels like “cheating.” You feel worse about yourself because all those substitutes for the real thing only remind you more of how unworthy you are of having a beautiful girl(s) or choice in dating.

In other words, far from solving the problem of “unworthiness” we exacerbate it.
To solve this issue you must first understand what you are doing to yourself. You are probably not even conscious of what’s going on.
To help you out I will describe the most common “depravation” strategies played out by guys. Once you see yourself in them you can start correcting this problem.

Depravation roles

1. The supportive guy who has not time for himself. He tries to help others all the time and ends up frustrated with no time for himself. He tries to keep friends and co-workers happy and put their needs first. If his friend john asks him to go out he would never say no even when he could use this time for himself. Friends come first. In dating, he is the nice guy who expects girls to be nice back to him. He doesn’t understand why he is being rejected.

2. The super-successful leader type who has a business or runs a team in a company who everybody depends on. Everybody’s survival depends on him so he puts his personal needs a side and rather focus on what’s necessary “for others”. Eventually he will start resenting others because his personal needs go unmet. In dating he thinks he has to do all the moves to conquer a girl’s heart. He must show her he is worth it by regaling her with stories about his success.

3. The guy who waits for others to take care of him and is disappointed when nobody cares. He doesn’t say anything and expects others to find out what he wants and give it to him. In dating, he expects girls to read his mind and give him sex without asking.

4. The guy who works very hard but underachieves and has no reward in the end. He is burdened with all business tasks but can’t get ahead. He is exhausted. There is no joy in his life. In dating, he is so exhausted from pleasing everybody he can barely approach girls. If he does, it becomes a people pleasing contest.

If you fall into any of the above “depravation” or “scarcity” roles above, identify how your role applies to your dating life?

Find your depravation role

My experience with live in field coaching is that most guys play out these roles when they are out to meet women. One way or another, “they way you show up in your life, that’s the way you show up in a club.” Seriously, how could it be different?
You can’t play superman. You know, Clark, the office pushover during the day and superhero at night. You can’t. It is just in comics.
A huge part of fixing your dating life is to see yourself for who you are. Don’t be afraid to find the truth because it will liberate you.
Finding your depravation role is key to solve the mystery of “unworthiness.” In order to revert your unworthiness around women you must first nail how it manifests itself in other areas of your life and start to change it there. Then, you will see how it automatically starts to change into your dating life.

Drill

Say “No” to a request of a co-worker, friend or family member that you have always said “Yes.” Make sure you don’t get fired over it-your boss is not a co-worker. Use common sense. Don’t over do it. Say “No” to something you have always agreed to do despite the fact you didn’t want to. Allow others to be mad at you for it but don’t give in. Stick to your guns. See how you feel afterwards.

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